Malaysia

I am in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. To be more precise, I am in Subang Jaya, a suburb situated between Petaling Jaya and Shah Alam in Selangor.

I am here visiting my ex-girlfriend who I have only seen once in the past ten years. I haven’t been here since december 1997 and even though you might think it shouldn’t have changed the geography much, it has.

The tall buildings have shot up and the open boulevards have been replaced by an overground metro-system which doesn’t add much to the landscape. The maybank building which was a landmark to look for everywhere is nearly impossible to see. I don’t recognize anything until I’m actually there and some building jogs my memory.

My original plan was to stay more than three weeks, but I came to realize that I don’t have that much to do here and even if I travel across the malayan peninsula, it’s not really big enough for a four week trip. I think I ordered the ticket in my heart broken state of late march and by late may that had turned itself upside down and there were other places I needed to be. So I have cut my holiday short, it will only be two weeks and then I go to Amsterdam.

I still get to see Melaka, Penang, Terengganu and Singapore. I think this will be a good holiday. I love the food here. You can get good asian food at any street corner. Today I had noodles for breakfast. I’m actually considering western food for lunch or dinner today. I’m not sure if there is a law against eating fish curry for dinner all week or not. If there is, I might be in trouble.

Dating, death and statistics – at what age is the dating pool largest?

A while ago I found this comic on xkcd.com:

The general idea is that your dating pool increases with age since large age differences turn less creepy the older you get.

If you date someone younger, the creepiness is defined as C = A/2 + 7, where A is your age and C is the lowest age at which you should date someone. For someone else dating you, their age must therefore be D = 2*A – 14, where A again, is your age, and D is the upper sociably acceptable age of someone you should date.

Therefore, your dating pool should be limited by the numbers C and D, but since C increases with 0.5 per year and D increases with 2 per year, the overall dating pool-size increases with 1.5 years for every year you grow older. (I am 34, therefore C = 24 and D = 54). In all calculations, half ages have been rounded down for maximum creepiness.

So, the dating pool increases, but at some point people start to die off, and the dating pool will start to decrease naturally. This opened up a profound question for me: At what age is the dating pool largest?

I made some calculations using the number of men living in Norway sorted by age (in one year intervals), carefully picked from the norwegian census bureau and combined with some fancy excel/maple magic

The model’s lower boundary is 14, simply because at that point A = C = D. The upper boundary is 70, set by me.

Observations:
The dating pool increases until you get to the age of 44, where it stalls and falls off as people start to die. At 70 the whole model seems to break down (the upper creepiness is larger than any known age for a human, 126). It shows that the dating pool of men grows until the age of around 45 where it naturally starts to decrease again, but not by much until your upper bound gets so large that people start to die off.

Facts in numbers:

The highest dating pool is at the age of 44 where just over 69 % of the male population is dateable. The mean dateable population is: 0.493 with a standard deviation of 0.200

I fitted the data to a polynomial of fourth degree in Maple and found a maximum at 47.3 years of age.

If I wasn’t so lazy, I’d try to fit this to some kind of curve and calculate a maximum with standard deviation and everything. I’d also consider doing the chart for women, but I can’t see much of a point since the curve will probably take the same shape with a larger tail since the average age of death for women is higher.

In addition, the data shows all men, not just singles, while this conforms more to reality (people do fuck around while married), it is in violation of certain social norms. I leave it to the reader to consider the importance of this. It would also be interesting to see such a chart based on statistics from a country with a higher death rate (average age of around 30 or so), but I am uncertain if such is available. I leave it to future statistics nerds to figure that out.

Download the data and plots here.

Feel free to perform similar statistics with more elegance for your own country.

meme, because I can’t be bothered to post anything substantial

You get three words. No more, no less.

Stolen from masokiss

1. Where is your cell phone?
in the kitchen

2. Your girlfriend/boyfriend/hubby?
is not applicable

3. Your hair?
is very short

4. Where is your father?
probably at home

6. Your favourite things to do?
moving my body

7. Your dream last night?
can not remember (I sound like a robot now)

8. Your favourite drink?
is certainly champagne

9. Your dream car?
some cool hybrid

10. The room you’re in?
is very small

12. Your fears?

14. Who did you hang out with last night?
with friends online

15. What aren’t you good at?
probably many things

16. Muffins?
yes, thank you

17. One of your wish list items?
blu-ray video thingy

19. The last thing you did?
should not tell

20. What are you wearing?
not very much

22. Your pets?
do not exist

23. Your computer?

24. Your life?
improving every day

25. Your mood?
a slight pensiveness

26. Missing?
that special someone 😛

27. What are you thinking about right now?
i am tired

28. Your car?
does not exist

29. Your work?
too darn much

30. Your summer?
better than last

32. Your favorite color(s)?
cyan magenta yellow

33. When is the last time you laughed?
some hours ago

34. Last time you cried?
yesterday, most certainly

34. School?
where I work

35. Personal mantra?
the heart sutra

Change

This summer I decided I needed a change. I found out I had the choice of either changing my job, getting a new apartment, moving to a different place or getting a girlfriend (or any combination of choices).

During the autumn I started looking at apartments with some friends. I really had a lot of fun but it felt a little useless if I couldn’t bid, so I went to talk to the bank and I managed to get them to agree to lend me 1,5 million kroner for an apartment. After that I went looked at about ten apartments until I found one that I felt was pleasant to look at and didn’t compromise too much on things that I thought was important. Since there is a slight slump in the real estate market in Norway, I managed to get it slightly cheaper than the asking price and was rather pleased with that.

The apartment is the same size as the one I have now, the living room is about the same size, but the kitchen is larger and can be used as a kind of workspace as well. The bedroom is small but as it will be used for nightly activities, I don’t think that will be much of a problem.

I am so happy to be moving. I like my apartment, but in some senses there are too many memories connected to I’d like to get rid of. I will miss the view of the church, but not the strange neighbours.

I am moving in less than two weeks and I’m really looking forward to it. I’ve already packed half my stuff but there’s still tons of things to do and throw away. I’ll be really pleased when this is done.

An old story, still surfacing.

I have been “dating” a girl, from time to time, for the past months. Nothing serious has ever happened and at some point last week I lost faith. I had seen her with this terribly hunky guy who is a salsa instructor and I thought, well, if she just dates salsa instructors, I’m giving her up. I can’t compete with that.

So, anyway, I go dancing tonight and I notice a girl there who I met some time ago while dancing, but she disappeared and never surfaced until tonight. I’ve been meaning to ask her out but it hasn’t worked out since I meet her like once a month.

Anyway, I sit there chatting and the other girl comes over, sits close to me, listens to my conversations, seems like she is trying to grab my attention. I am busy with conversation with the other girl, so I try to juggle my attention with both people and to avoid that, I introduce her. So, since I only meet this girl every month or so, I take the chance of asking her out, so I ask her for coffee (I need to change that catchphrase – it never works, even though coffee is not a big deal in my book, apparently it is in theirs GAAAH!) and she answers “When will I have time for coffee?” to which I reply “Surely, you must have 30 minutes for coffee some day”, she thinks for a while, looks at her friend beside her while smiling, suggest we go dancing some day. She doesn’t have time this week, but she is available the next thursday. I say that it’s fine, but at the same point I’m thinking she will never show up, so I don’t even bother asking about the number.

I get up to leave and I go to pick up my jacket and I see the other girl sitting at the bar chatting. I walk over to say bye and she says “I’m looking forward to seeing you tomorrow”, I reply “You mean, the three minutes we have available when your course ends and mine begins?” to which she replies “yes” and adds that she’ll see me at the dancing on thursday. The whole thing gets an extra dimension if I tell you that I hit on her best friend on saturday. I didn’t succeed, but it was pretty direct. I presume she has been told. I wonder what the hell she is thinking of.

You try to give up on someone and they come running after you but when you catch interest they run away. There’s a lesson to be learnt here, and the lesson is: give up understanding people.

adrenaline rush…

Today I’m running high on adrenaline and I hate it. I’m not sure if it a combination of coffee and

I went to dance and my friend greeted me and made steps to walk towards me to chat, but was stopped by some buffoon who decided to spend the next ten minutes trying to get her to teach him something. Was he trying to impress her?

Anyway, the dance lesson was complex. Too complex. I had new steps to combine with old moves and new moves to combine with old steps and the teacher was annoyed and didn’t walk through the moves systematically. The whole thing felt too much to overcome, but I didn’t do too badly. I guess I haven’t had that many challenges yet and when I get one, I get irritated. Silly really.

Tomorrow will be hectic. I have a dentist-appointment (and I think I have a cavity), work, then I’m recruiting new teachers for the university, later I’m going to a wine tasting, salsa dancing and gothclubbing. I hope there is someone at the club with an eyeliner. I feel like being a little more goth than usual. 😛

Oh, and I have a date of sorts on friday. Fun!

hrmph

I went to DLK today and the place was pretty empty except for a few dating couples. Alma was serving coffee and I sat down to drink a cup of Burundi.

After a short while, she said she had met a friend of mine this weekend, a darkhaired girl she had seen me with at the café a few times. She didn’t remember the name at first, she added she had also met the sister and I realized who she was talking about. This was a girl I spent a lot of time with before the summer, we had really good chemistry, people seemed to notice and asked if there was anything between us, and suddenly, she was gone on holiday and I didn’t hear from her until I met her in the street at 8 AM last week.

Alma guessed pretty quickly that I had been interested in the girl and said I should call her. I told her we had spent more or less every day together before summer and then she hadn’t contacted me at all after she returned from holiday, she hadn’t sent any message, didn’t return phone calls etc. I also told her that this was really annoying, especially since we were supposed to be friends. She encouraged me to call her or send her a message, to try to get in touch with her. I didn’t feel like it, I spent enough time trying to contact her during summer, and if she plans not to reply to mail or phone messages, I’m not going to start trying harder.

Not to mention, my ideal in social relations lately is to just flow. If nothing happens with someone, why bother fretting over it? I feel that the opportunity for dating her is gone, but that we can still be friends, but this would depend on some reciprocity, something which seems difficult for her.

I just came back from Oslo and it felt completely anticlimactic.

Oslo is more densely populated, there are large buildings everywhere and there are cafés all over. Not to mention the weather is better, there are more shops and more restaurants. In addition, my tiny group of raving aesthetic elitists have now moved there and I miss their company.

On return to Bergen it was cold, unpleasant and boring. Thankfully I met friends when I went to town to get food. It really cheered me up :-)

I have been thinking during this summer that I am due for some kind of changes. I have felt terribly off balance for the past two years and in some way I must make some kind of changes to feel better. Considering a move might be one way of assuring major changes in my life. Other possibilities is getting a different apartment or getting a girlfriend. That last bit would certainly demand something I can not control or organize that easily, namely the willingness of a person I am interested in. We’ll see what happens.

Happy Potter

Everyone else seems to finish that damned book so quickly, I’m still only half way and it’s making me feel like a slow learner…

…but my IQ is huge, goddamnit!!! 😛