The fine art of grumpiness.

Next week, some of the teachers have organized The Climate Week. The Climate Week is supposed to make the kids more aware of the future of the planet and it’s an event that I wholeheartedly agree with…

BUT

They started organizing it two weeks ago, not giving anyone any time to prepare for it. They also expect everyone to chip in and have as much enthusiasm as they have over this, and when others don’t put all their efforts into it, they get a little angry and frustrated. This is understood, but it’s really hard to get extremely enthusiastic about anything when you’re sitting around worrying about the ten other things you should have done at work, not to mention the fact that you’re subconsciously fretting about your lack of *ahem* intimate relations.
I think an organizing committee should organize and not expect everyone else to be at their fullest all the time. We will all do the needed work, I will even let myself be bossed around anywhere, anytime during work hours, but I will not be forced to be enthusiastic about anything when I don’t feel up to it.

Valentine’s day

It’s that time of the year again and everyone who is in love starts acting like a complete idiot and the rest of us stand on the side line pretending not to be jealous.

I found this great article about the roots of Valentine’s day.

Basically, it went something like this: In ancient Rome, on the 15th of February, in an altar called the Luperci sacred to the god Lupercus, in a cave in which the she-wolf goddess nursed founding twins Romulus and Remus, Luperci priests gathered and sacrificed goats and young dogs, the former for strength, the latter for purification and in honor of their strong sexual instinct and because it was a fertility diety and this is just what you did if you were a happy pagan citizen a couple thousand years ago. (..) Then came the sex lottery. Oh yes. Say it like you mean it. Pretty much only have to say the words, “sex lottery,” and already you’re like, damn, count me in, sure beats dinner and a movie.

For the rest of the explanation on how this fertility day ended up as a de-sexed celebration of luuhv, read the article.

Overheard in New York

There are a bunch of these sites, where people hear weird stuff in public places and post it online. This one is pretty good and it’s probably because New York is so BIG.

Here are some nice quotes from the favourites:

Chinese guy: Hey, now that you’re here we can go to Sylvia’s in Harlem and get some soul food.
Black guy: What do you mean, “now that I’m here”? What, you can’t go to Harlem by yourself, but now that you’ve got your token black you’re safe? That’s fucked up.
Chinese guy: Let me ask you something: would you go to Harlem alone at night?
Black guy: OK, that’s not the point.

Man: I just don’t get it! Just last night you were complaining about how you never try anything new, but you feel like you should.
Woman: Ok, well ordering the roast duck is a little different than a threesome, Tim.

Small child, trying a Sprite: I don’t like it.
Dad: If you don’t like the taste, just spit it out.
Mom: I’ve heard that one before.

And here’s the site.

Sex advice from comic store clerks

I’d never ask any of my local comic store clerks for sex advice. There are a few different reasons for this, but mostly since they seem to be more into Warhammer than sex, I’ve usually considered myself more experienced than them.

Nerve.com has a column on sex advice from people with different jobs. This time they’ve asked the comic store clerks.

Some of my favourite answers:

How can I convince my girlfriend to go down on me more often without seeming pushy or demanding?
Just tell her that what you’ve got in your pants is the Hammer of the Mighty Thor, the Mjolnir. Tell her, “Those who are deemed worthy may hold it. Are you worthy?”

What’s the best way to seduce a comic-store clerk?
For one, don’t start with, “I live in my mom’s basement and I’m a level-fourteen Paladin.” Geek or not, that’s a horrible way to spark a conversation.

I’m a guy. My new girlfriend is bisexual, and has had lots of experience with other women. I’m nervous that my oral-sex skills won’t measure up. Any advice on how to give her head she’ll never forget?
Grow sideburns, and make sure you shampoo and condition them. I suggest Pantene Pro-V hair products. Being a guy, you can’t compete with the soft, sensual touch of a woman, but with sideburns you hold the secret key to giving a woman oral pleasure. The sideburns add an extra sensation while you’re face-deep in your partner’s privates. They tickle the inside lining of the labia, which is why it’s important to keep them soft with shampooing and conditioning. Trust me — I have sideburns and a goatee.

Read it in full here.

If you have a paid account, can you actually see which users have surfed your LJ and/or the IP-addresses of anonymous surfers?

No hot water! Damn!

I shaved my head and jumped in the showed and there was no hot water whatsoever.

Now I’m sitting around itching, not sure what to do since the hot water will not resupply for another three hours and I have small hairs all around my head and neck that are itching terribly. I’m considering discussing the size of the hot water tank with my landlord. I can’t even shave. It feels humiliating! :)

IKEA

My trip to IKEA was pretty useless.

I failed to find a spotlight I liked and I couldn’t find any bookshelf-lamp at all. It was horrible! My dad bought me soft ice though. My dad is an iceomaniac.

I returned with two soup bowls and a vague feeling of ice cream in my belly. Not much to shout about.

Why A Man Gets ‘Scared Away’ When You Try To Get Him To Commit For The Long-Term

This is a reaction to this post. You’ll find this long rant here.

Q: Have you ever met a guy who seemed to be “Mr. Right”, but after getting to know him better you could tell that he just didn’t feel that same level of “connection” you felt?

A: Maybe he just doesn’t like you. Get over it and find someone else.

Q: Have you ever slept with a guy very quickly after meeting him, but as it started to happen you got that sinking feeling in your stomach? You knew it was a mistake, but you did it anyway. And then the thing you KNEW would happen actually happened: He unexplainably disappeared from your life. Honestly, have you ever had this happen?

A: He either lost his phone or he was a playah. Anyway, get over it and find someone else.

Q: Have you ever dated a great guy for a long time… I’m talking about six months, twelve months, or even longer… and it was getting to the point where you needed to have “the talk” with him. But when you tried to bring up the topic of having a relationship and making a bigger commitment, his eyes just glazed over… and then he became distant from you… and the relationship ended soon after?

A: He never really liked you and you should have realized sooner. Get over it, find someone else.

I’m so fucking clever! 😀

Wise bullshit!

Your Personality Profile

You are dignified, spiritual, and wise.
Always unsatisfied, you constantly try to better yourself.
You are also a seeker of knowledge and often buried in books.

You tend to be philosophical, looking for the big picture in life.
You dream of inner peace for yourself, your friends, and the world.
A good friend, you always give of yourself first.